I've been going to the Middle East a lot lately. For work. And you know what? It all reminds me a lot of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I grew up in Fort Lauderdale in my late teens. So I should know. There's a beach there. Everywhere, really. And a big beach road. And lots of old leathery men with big watches, spritzed with cologne, preying on younger women with blow-dryed hair and fresh pedicures.
Hammamet, Tunisia? City on the beach. Lots of hotels. Lots of white wine. Lots of old tan dudes trying to get it on with younger ladies. That's totally Fort Lauderdale. (And lots of older ladies trying to get it on with younger guys. Don't get me started.) The only difference was the guy in the souk who told us he'd never had sex before and would one of us have it with him later? Because we were Western women and surely we would have sex with him without marriage.
Dubia, UAE? Fort Lauderdale. And they've even got the traffic. You try hitting A1A in the Sunshine State at rush hour or at 8 pm on a Friday night. That's Jumeirah Beach Road in Dubai Marina. Like big time. And both cities even have that crazy thing where only certain streets go in certain directions so if you don't have a cab driver who's driven in Fort Lauderdale (or Dubai) for ages, you are screwed, my friend. SCREWED. I believe the Bentley population is also roughly equal...if we measure Dubai against For Lauderdale in like 1988.
Doha, Qatar. Totally Fort Lauderdale. City on the beach? Check! Impossible to get a taxi from anywhere to anywhere except to/from the airport? Check, check. Tan dudes with big watches and lots of money driving fancy cars around town for no other reason than to drive fancy cars around town? Check, check, check. (Qatar is the richest country in the world, after all.)
Kuwait City, Kuwait. The only big difference here is the lack of alcohol. And the urban planning. Somewhere, someone was smart enough to say, "Hey, we are a city on the Gulf. Maybe we should keep things beautiful. Maybe we should put the city inland. Maybe we should keep the waterfront free." And they did. And it's beautiful. You think, as an American, that Kuwait is in the desert. But there's a reason why they called it the Gulf War and you realize that suddenly as your taxi takes you outside downtown. And then you turn down Arabian Gulf Street and see the whole world laid out there in front of you, all blue and green and crystal. And you think, "I'm thirsty, let's have a drink." And you stop at TGI Friday's and have a Mudslide.
Hammamet, Tunisia? City on the beach. Lots of hotels. Lots of white wine. Lots of old tan dudes trying to get it on with younger ladies. That's totally Fort Lauderdale. (And lots of older ladies trying to get it on with younger guys. Don't get me started.) The only difference was the guy in the souk who told us he'd never had sex before and would one of us have it with him later? Because we were Western women and surely we would have sex with him without marriage.
Dubia, UAE? Fort Lauderdale. And they've even got the traffic. You try hitting A1A in the Sunshine State at rush hour or at 8 pm on a Friday night. That's Jumeirah Beach Road in Dubai Marina. Like big time. And both cities even have that crazy thing where only certain streets go in certain directions so if you don't have a cab driver who's driven in Fort Lauderdale (or Dubai) for ages, you are screwed, my friend. SCREWED. I believe the Bentley population is also roughly equal...if we measure Dubai against For Lauderdale in like 1988.
Doha, Qatar. Totally Fort Lauderdale. City on the beach? Check! Impossible to get a taxi from anywhere to anywhere except to/from the airport? Check, check. Tan dudes with big watches and lots of money driving fancy cars around town for no other reason than to drive fancy cars around town? Check, check, check. (Qatar is the richest country in the world, after all.)
Kuwait City, Kuwait. The only big difference here is the lack of alcohol. And the urban planning. Somewhere, someone was smart enough to say, "Hey, we are a city on the Gulf. Maybe we should keep things beautiful. Maybe we should put the city inland. Maybe we should keep the waterfront free." And they did. And it's beautiful. You think, as an American, that Kuwait is in the desert. But there's a reason why they called it the Gulf War and you realize that suddenly as your taxi takes you outside downtown. And then you turn down Arabian Gulf Street and see the whole world laid out there in front of you, all blue and green and crystal. And you think, "I'm thirsty, let's have a drink." And you stop at TGI Friday's and have a Mudslide.
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